What it's come to...

As some of you may know I've been struggling with some pretty intense low back pain since about the third trimester of my pregnancy. In the last two weeks, the pain became debilitating with severe, unrelenting pain down my left leg (sciatica).

Last Monday, June 2nd, I saw Doc #1 who told me the muscles were probably just spasming around the nerve and causing the pain. He prescribed round the clock Tylenol, rest and Chiropractic treatment.

On Tuesday I saw my Chiropractor but he wouldn't treat me. He ran me through a series of tests (all of which I failed) and judging from the level of pain I was in guessed that there was something more wrong than we thought. He called another MD who suggested strongly that I go immediately to the ER to have an MRI. He wanted it done at the ER so we could get the results asap and not have to drag this on for days. The MRI revealed that indeed a disc had herniated through an annular tear in my low back. For this they put me on Percoset, gave me some oral steroids and told me to go see a spine guy for some steroid shots. I was told not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk so Ian and I decided we better ask for help. He'd already taken three days off of work to help me and really needed to get back so we asked my Mom to come for a few days to get me over this "hump".

On Wednesday, another Doc sent me back to the ER. Because of some symptoms I was having they were worried about cauda equina syndrome which can cause permanent nerve damage. Several hours in the ER and a 10 minute visit from a PA and I was on my way home, tired and a little disgruntled. I learned when I got home that I cannot just go to the spine guy, I must have referral from my PCP so I made an appointment for the next day. Mom was on her way so a VERY good friend came over to help me for the evening so Ian could go to his brother's first gallery show.

On Thursday, Ian finally got to go back to work and I saw MY Doc, a Doc who I don't even know but because he is listed as my Primary Care Physician, he is the one who gets to decide my course of treatment. He referred me to a GHC Neurosurgeon, who was of course, in Seattle.

On Friday, Mom and I dropped Peyton off at a friends house and She, Ashtyn and I trekked up to downtown Seattle to see the Neurosurgeon. I met with a Dr. Rapport who was clearly a seasoned Neurosurgeon. He was very straight forward, explained that shots are out because they are really just a bandaid. He also strongly suggested that I stop taking Percoset immediately since I am nursing (other Docs assured me it wouldn't hurt Ashtyn but he felt differently). My two options are A. to wait it out. Apparently the body will heal a herniated disc on it's own. He said it could take anywhere from a month to 30 months although the quickest he's seen it healed is around 4 months. He said in order for it to heal, I wouldn't be able to take any anti-inflammatory drugs, shouldn't be lifting, bending, etc., should only take Tylenol if I want to nurse and should have someone taking care of me. B. Surgery. He said he'd shorten my healing time to a month for sure and just remove the disc now. He said I'd be able to go home same day and would have 4-5 days on pretty heavy pain meds but after that would be a lot better.

So, what did I choose? Well, option A is certainly cheaper, not as scary and is definitely the "natural" way to go BUT I have to consider my family. I'm not guaranteed a quick recovery by any means. I have a two year old and an infant that I desperately want to be the best Mommy too. If this recovery drags on for several months, I will not be able to care for them on my own. So then who helps me? It's a long time to have my Mom give up her life and as great as all my friends are, they all have families of their own to worry about. Ian cannot take extended time off work, he is vital to his department AND needs to be providing for his family. Lets not overlook the fact that I don't know if I could survive at this level of pain for an extended period of time. I cannot sleep, and at times cannot walk, sit or shower on my own. Option B IS scary to me. I've never had surgery before and there are some risks involved. He was very confident that he could help me and told me he'd done 5000 of these surgeries without incident. The recovery time would be guaranteed to be shorter with almost instant relief to my leg pain. My mom would be able to care for me and the kids during a shorter recovery (in Moscow) and afterwards we'd be able to move on with our lives.

I wish it were simple. If I chose surgery, it would be scheduled about 3 weeks from now at which time I could be feeling good enough to forgo the whole thing but that isn't really fair to the system as it would cost a lot of money to cancel. While I am still in a lot of pain a week and a half later, it is a vast improvement over the peak of the pain (the day I had my MRI) so I feel as though I must be healing. I had a consult with the Neuro guy yesterday and we decided together that I would go home with my Mom for a couple weeks, REALLY take it easy and if upon my return I am in enough pain to still justify surgery, he will put me on the schedule.

If you are the praying kind, I would appreciate your prayers. This is an extremely difficult and humbling time in my life. I'm not able to care for my children the way I'd like, I'm not able to grocery shop or do anything that involves standing or walking for more than 20 minutes (that includes the MALL!!!!) and sleeping is the worst as I can not find a comfortable position and the pain just intensifies the moment I settle into bed. I'm fiercely independent so it is taking a lot for me to accept the level of help I need but I am so incredibly grateful to my parents for giving me said help. My friends have also been very generous with their offers to help in any way they can. Thank you!

I know this is a long post and if you've made this far, you deserve a medal! I just wanted to be thorough in my explanation 1 time instead of having to repeat it 20 times. If you live in T town and are able to help Ian out by having him to dinner or such, I'd appreciate it. He'll get awfully lonely without his family for two weeks. I think he's coming over to get us around the 28th and we should be heading home on my birthday (the 29th). I'm not sure if I'll be posting from Idaho but will try. So until then my faithful readers...